Can't believe he fell for it
by sammaclausegamgee
Summary: Short, simple story composed over text message about Alfred's odd encounter after crashing his plane in a frozen wasteland.


Once upon a time, there was a young man names Alfred. One day, he was flying his plane when a terrible storm hit. Alfred was a good pilot but he couldn't see through the fog and snow. He managed to spot a large mountain and tried to steer clear but the wind was too strong.

Alfred's plane only grazed a Cliffside, but with a loud crash, one of his wings was lopped off! Luckily, he was able to crash land without getting injured.

Alfred waited in his crashed plane for the storm to stop. After a few hours, it did and he got out to find himself in a very cold place. Luckily, his boss had insisted he should have an emergency jacket in his plane. He put it on and tried to contact his brother on his radio. Unfortunately…he forgot Matthew's radio frequency. Poor Alfred.

Alfred decided he would look around for any signs of civilization. He took his backpack and sidearm then started trudging through the snow.

After a little while, Alfred saw a house. He went inside and found a cozy fire, but no one was in the room. He sat down by the fire and warmed up quickly in his thick winter jacket. He frowned when he felt his stomach grumble.

"This place is terrible," he said aloud to himself, "there are no hamburgers."

"Hello."

Alfred turned around and saw someone in the doorway. "Hey," he replied, "are you the guy who lives here?"

"Yes I am," the other man said.

Alfred acknowledged his answer with a nod. "Nice house," he complimented him, "is there a McDonald's nearby?"

"Here? Oh yes."

Alfred was very happy to hear that, "that's great! Say, what's your name?"

"Oh, my name isn't important," the house's resident told him before continuing, "you look hungry! Why don't you come with me?"

"You mean to get hamburgers?" The other person nodded and Alfred smiled wide, "ok!"

Alfred followed his new friend out of the room. This guy was visibly taller than him and Alfred wondered how he could get so much bigger than him. The man opened a door and pointed. "It's just through here."

Alfred frowned. "That is a closet," he pointed out.

The tall man looked inside then turned to him and smiled, "you are very perceptive. Why don't you go inside?"

Alfred sighed, "I don't know what country you're from but where I'm from, people don't go in closets to find food. Why should I go in there?"

The weird man was still smiling, "because if you don't, I might have to hurt you."

Alfred stared at him momentarily and laughed, "that's a good one!"

The other guy laughed too, "I have been practicing my jokes."

The guest grinned, "you're alright."

"I like you too. I saw your plane crash. You can stay here while its being repaired if you like."

Alfred was not about to object; wandering around a frozen wasteland was not an idea that appealed to him. His host set up a cot for him in the closet. At first, Alfred thought it was strange, but the tall man explained that he had no spare bedrooms and his own was not nearly as warm as the smaller closet.

Alfred stayed in his house for a week with little to do other than chatting with the other man about the oddest subjects. By the seventh day, he was getting awfully curious. "So, how's my plane?" he asked his host.

The tall man smiled, "it's being repaired. Won't be long now."

Another week of unusual conversation went by with no news of his aircraft. Alfred wondered why his host had such trouble talking about normal things. He sought him out once again. "I know I've asked this before, but…how's my plane doing?"

"It's still being repaired. Won't be much longer now."

The third week passed with a series of even stranger topics. By this time, Alfred was beginning to get very impatient. He got out of his closet and confronted him.

"Listen, you," he said, looking up at the tall man, "it's been a while. Can I see my plane now?"

The tall man smiled at him again. Alfred had started to hate that smile. "It isn't done yet. Won't be long, don't you worry."

Alfred was persistent, "you said that last week and the week before!"

The strange man smiled again. "You won't have to wait much longer."

The guest folded his arms, "you just said it again! Look, I've waited long enough!"

The tall man tilted his head but didn't stop smiling, "have you? Don't you like my house?"

Alfred frowned, "it's not that, I just want to go home."

"You said you liked my house," the man continued.

Alfred sounded exasperated, "I said I do but I want to go home now!"

The tall man moved closer to him, which made him seem even taller. He leaned over his guest, "but I want you to stay."

Alfred stood up straight to show he wasn't intimidated, "and I said I want to go home now. Where is my plane?"

"I want you to stay."

Alfred scoffed and went out into the snow. He found his way back to the crash site to discover his plane was in the state he had left it in three weeks before.

"It's cold out here."

Alfred turned around and saw his host standing close behind him. "You're a rotten liar!"

"I'm not lying; it really is cold out here," the other replied innocently, "you should come back inside."

"Alright," Alfred said angrily. He pulled out his sidearm and pointed it toward the tall man. "I'm leaving now. If I catch you following me, I'll riddle you with holes!"

With that, Alfred stomped off into the snow. He didn't know where to go, but anywhere was better than with that bastard. After trudging for a few hours, he noticed the sun was setting. With no shelter in sight, he began to feel quite hopeless. Curling up under his coat, he placed himself next to a large rock. He just hoped the wind would play nice in the hours to come.

Alfred woke up with a headache yet he felt quite warm. He opened his eyes.

"You are the luckiest looney I know!"

"Arthur? What are you doing in my bedroom?"

Arthur scoffed, "typical. Always assuming everything you touch belongs to you."

Alfred started to remember where he had been for the last few days. "Wait, where am I?"

"In a hospital. You're fortunate someone saw your plane fly over the border before that storm."

"What border?"

Before Arthur could answer, a third voice joined the conversation, "I'm glad you're alright, my impulsive friend." Alfred cringed.

"You! What are you-!"

"Oh dear," the tall man said, "he appears to be delirious. I'll take it from here."

"Good. I don't have time for his antics," Arthur replied. He took his jacket and started to leave.

"Arthur, wait! He's some sort of psychopath!"

"Don't be daft! He's the one who found your ungrateful, half-frozen ass!" Arthur slammed the door behind him.

The tall man smiled down at Alfred, "why don't we go back to my house? It's much more comfortable there."

THE END


End file.
